This card game was created in answer to an urgent prayer. When my son was 10 years old, we were having real challenges. He was wrapping himself around my leg and screaming, “I hate you! I hate you! I want to live with my dad!” every day. I had committed to nonviolent forms of parenting, which meant that I would not use force or punishment of any kind to get him to stop… no time outs, no raised voice, no threats… definitely no hitting… but I was desperate and could only endure so much.
I had learned some things about Nonviolent Communication and while I found great benefit in these teachings, going to classes and workshops as a single mom proved to be difficult. I needed something quick, accessible, and I needed it NOW!
This card game idea came through me one day as I picked up my sketch book ready to create some art. I hand-made a set of cards and engaged my son in “games.” I was honestly dumbfounded when my relationship with my son turned around completely after our first 20 minutes of using the cards together. It was a permanent change in our relationship for which I have IMMENSE GRATITUDE!
Here is what we did! In our first game, I simply offered to guess what he was feeling and he would tell me if I was right or wrong. Then I guessed what he wanted, needed, and valued, again asking him to simply let me know if I was right or wrong.
He was grateful to see me guessing right. So for the next two games, I asked him to guess what I was feeling and wanting.
This was the FIRST time I had ever experience receiving empathy from my son. It moved me to tears. When he saw my tears, he said, “Mama, are you ok?” “YES! I responded! Thank you SO MUCH for understanding what I am going through.” “Mama, I love you!” he said as he gave me a hug. The fits stopped overnight and our relationship was reborn.
Over the next year, we create many more games together.
I am grateful to be enjoying an amazing connection with my now teenage son, and I regularly hear other adults, including trained counselors, remark about his high degree of emotional intelligence, compassion and care for others.
The gifts that I have been fortunate enough to harvest through practice and use of these cards are beyond anything I could have pre-conceived. There is nothing that feels more important and meaningful to me than to share this gift with YOU!
Come and allow me teach you what I have learned! Your life can only blossom with love for trying.
Blessings to you!